I'm leaving on a jet plane

John Denver, the man of calm mid 70's war music.
It haunts my brain in a good way. The softness in his voice
some how calms my nervous & brings me a little happiness.
I'm face to face with this blank wall.
Noticing every little mark & detail. That's how I feel.
People can stare & see my flaws, my weakness, my fears.


None of this makes sense.
I can hear laughther, but I'm not included.
I hear jokes & tears of joy, but I'm not included.
When or how will I be part of that fun, that energy of life.
I'm acting as if I don't have friends. I digging more towards my work life.


I held my tears back so tight, I forced a smile upon my face.
Hoping & praying someone I knew close to me would see
the pain & uncertain I was feeling. But they were not there.
So, I had to be strong alone. & It felt nice..
I can't hide it.
Their coming & I have to let go..






Choking up.
It's closing up. The race of emotions take over me.
xxx