Only.

I'm alone.

No one is standing behind me.

Except one person.

Yesterday news, today's blues.

shut your mouth.

Surprised. Not surprised.

And she said; "I won't complain".

The dishonest words spilled before her before

she could catch them.

I doubt my world wouldn't be complete if I didn't complain

on how my life is so horrible

in the sense of change, work, and oh, friends.

Tables have now turned.

And I'm left with pictures, text messages, and fake plans.

My heart aches in the memories that once

were lived. I can't believe this chapter has now officially closed.

As I pray not to act on the simple actions of anger or jealously.

They seem to creep upon me.

And the actions of the outcome always overcome what I know

is just a sin. Or this disbelief that this still matters to me.

More then I can control. It controls me 99.9 % of the time.

She has moved on.

New 'best friend'.

Before. "I don't really like her" and I quote.

Where do I stand.

Lacking the laughter of old times. Girly gossip.

Life is filled with boys and their adventures in wet snow.

Shooting from believable guns.

Hitting one another with wet hard paint balls.

Exchanging codes, hand shakes, and un awkward car rides.

Opening the wide enveloped.

Surprised by the hard work I've endured.

Making plans of the nice spending I'm about to outrage in.

But quickly that was snatched from me.

It's quiet.

I dare to even image to explain.

No one will ever understand.

Nor will I.

'Just put water on da popcorn'

Oh man, rap has lost it's touch.

you lost,you lied,you never won.

Two cigarettes left and a new zippo lighter.

and I'm yet to believe that this is going to last.

I am more concerned about what happen then you are.

silly haha's here and there.

But no actual contact of involvement with one another.

I doubt the things I say to myself are healthy.

Nor a good medicine.

I quit.

Yes sir it's real.

I remember.

You remember

Now, it's just memories.

Everytime.

There,you won.

It's getting rough.

I stay up,I think,I panic,I wonder.

Once again,I'm left alone.

The bare walls.The tallness of each leg, hesitating

to move forward.Station near by,I linger for the

call.The text.The hopes of the voice.

I was right,I was dead on.

Lost passages aboard the chapter of my life.

It's closed.

I said I wouldn't complain.

I just needed someone to listen.

The End.

I Quit.

It's so easy to give up.

It compares to you and those around.

I've been introduce to the world of fashion.

Other's are well accomplished in their styles.

For me, I am just a baby born to this blog world of

regular people putting together outrages gorgeous outfits.

I look at my work and wonder, I am nothing compare to

to the lovely ladies with the best fashion in the world.

I am a bit taken back with if I really should go through with this.

But I can't give up. They all had to start somewhere.

Here I am, throwing myself out there. I'm a bit scared,

but at least I'm trying.

As I held my cold phone upon my warm hands.

I linger through my miss text message and fell upon

the scary words of; "do you still a job at Glamour Shots?".

My mind was already backing out of the idea of actually going to work

everyday and putting effort into something I adore doing.

I apply with the strenght of; "Yes"

And with the second of sending, I received;"Dan wants to interview you".

I was a bit excited,nervous,unprepared.

Standing outside in the blistering cold, I called, I chatted,we laughed.

Now on Sunday at the strike of 12pm.

I will be throwing myself out there in the hopes this will turn into something good.

With all doubts and concerns on the table, I am ready for change.

And once that change is reliable, I will let go what's been holding me back

for two years of my life.

In all, this year has already caught me off guard.

yours,mine,ours.

Now it all makes sense.

It's a bit awkward that it took me soo long to realize.

Today,I called upon the Lord, and accepted Jesus Christ into my life.

I am happy, I am filled with joy.

Life is always going to be unfair.

And it's up to us to take it in, and flip it around.

Complaining about it isn't going to change anything.

The clean thoughts I hold upon myself

are refeshing as a nice cold glass of water.

I've found my calling, I've accepted why I'm where I am today.

And I've never been so proud, honored, and Thankful.

unknown jestures.

As I approached the blue tall screen less door.

I prepared myself for what could have been.

It was silent as our foot steps prepare to enter into the unknown.

I stood awkwardly in an empty room.

I through my belongings onto a small love seat.

Even though I knew others were around. I was still nervous to meet and greet.

I just remember being in high school wondering, dreaming, and

putting self there. But now that I was there, I then began to realize.

I am content with the life I ended up with.

And the picture is beginning to make sense.

It took me too long to figure that out.

Speeding towards my destination.

I couldn't wait to be in his arms again.

Weak with sleep. But I kept awake longer for him to notice

that I was there for him, and I always will be.